How To Stop Negative Self Talk

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Do you ever get super awesome ideas that pump you up? Maybe you want to write a book, run a marathon, or start a business. You are all pumped about it and ready to dig in and then the second thoughts creep in. You know that voice that tells you that can’t do x, y, or z? That little inner voice can put an end to your dreams if you let it. But you don’t have to listen to it.

I know from personal experience that it can be hard to tune out that voice, especially when you have been listening to it for so long. So how do we quiet the voice and quit the negative self-talk?

1. Recognize The Voice

To gain control over your inner critic and end the negative self-talk, you first need to be aware of the voice. You might be saying, “I already know I have an issue with negative self-talk.” Yes, we understand that. But you need to recognize it when it is occurring.

Most of our thoughts happen so fast, we aren’t even aware they are happening. Paying attention to your thoughts can help you recognize that voice and really notice when it is present.

Related reading: Why You Need To Journal

2. Separate The Critic From Yourself

Guess what, that negative voice, that critic, isn’t really you! That voice is a result of life experiences that have been internalized like criticism or expectations from society or others. It is important to be able to separate the voice from yourself so it will no longer have power over you.

3. Stop Playing The Comparison Game

Judgment, comparison, and labels are all bad. It’s not good to judge and label others and the same goes for judging and labeling ourselves. When we do, we are inviting that inner critic to come out.

There is nothing good that comes from comparing yourself to others. After all, you probably don’t have the entire picture. You don’t know what troubles another person has in their life. Or how edited (or even fake) a photo on Instagram might be.

So when you find yourself playing the comparison game, just stop yourself. Closeout or even delete Instagram, or snooze the profile on Facebook that makes you feel less than.

Related reading: 7 Ways To Remove Negativity From Your Life

4.  Embrace Your Imperfections & Learn From Your Mistakes

If your goal is perfection, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Stop holding yourself up to such unrealistic expectations. You will feel immense relief when you give yourself some room to breathe. Of course, there is always room for hard work and self-improvement.

5. Be Nice To Yourself

The best way to stop negative self-talk is to have an inner BFF. It is easy to call yourself names like ugly or fat or dumb. But would you say those things to your best friend? Of course, you wouldn’t. So why would you say them to yourself? Instead of being negative, say something encouraging as you would to a friend. Be understanding and give yourself a little compassion. You’d be surprised at how much better you will feel.

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Negative Self Talk


I'm Holly, the creator of Feisty Life Media.

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  1. 12.19.18
    Aria Len said:

    I love the tips you give about accepting yourself and not being too hard on yourself. I think we’ve all done this at one point or another in our lives, but some people have the mindset that they have no other choice and that’s just the way things are for them.

    In reality, the only reason things are “just that way” is because they’ve never tried to change their perception or change their mindset. While some just down play the process or don’t feel like trying because they think it’s just wasting their time, others don’t think it’s a real thing or don’t realize there is a way to make things better.

    Thank you for sharing this message and I’m wishing you the best!