Finding Yourself in Motherhood


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Becoming a mom is an amazing experience. It is joyful, satisfying, pleasant, tiring, exhausting, stressful, frustrating, unsatisfying, and unpleasant all at once. Motherhood is so many good things, but it can be generally all-consuming.

I remember the days before motherhood.

find yourself in motherhood

Before I was a mother I was an artist, an entrepreneur, a dancer, a friend, I had a social life that didn’t entail talking only to two toddlers all day long. My days were dictated solely based on what I wanted to do. Now, as a mother, they are dictated by the two small children. My thought process centers around them, their needs, their wants, their happiness and in doing so I forgot about my own.

Life brings about changes and one of the biggest of them all, at least that I have been through, is motherhood. It’s truly unrealistic to expect you’ll be able to live life the same with a small child. Losing yourself, who you are, and who you want to be, other than the small child’s jungle gym, is very common.

Signs You May Have Lost Yourself in Motherhood

  1. Your life revolves completely around your kids
  2. You’ve stopped caring about how you look
  3. You’ve lost time and motivation to continue hobbies
  4. You’ve lost connection with close friends
  5. You’ve lost sight and motivation to your previous goals or to create new goals
  6. It’s hard to think of titles for yourself other than “mom”

How, if you’ve lost yourself, do you redefine who you are? You are not the same person you were. There’s really no avoiding it, no sugar coating it, you are different. You are now a mother, but you are not just a mother. It’s important to find your new self.

How to Redefine Who You Are

1.Maintain your personal interests or find new interests.

Finding time and attention to maintain your interests, outside of your children, is important to maintaining your own identity. This can be all your previous interests or maybe you find new ones. Before becoming a mother, I loved to draw and crochet. I still love to do those, but it can be harder to do with toddlers, I’ve started writing more. One major reason I’ve started my blog, Sarah’s Sage Advice.

2. Set goals and don’t forget your ambitions.

Setting goals and meeting those goals can be huge for your self-confidence, self-esteem, and motivation. Your ambitions may change but they should not disappear. Think about what you want and how you can get it.

3. Find time to be alone.

It is amazing to me how motherhood can be so lonely yet you’re never alone. I generally have my children with me 24/7. They often are sitting on me or climbing over me. This can get tiresome, believe me, I love my children, but a moment of peace without being touched is refreshing.

4. Find time for friends.

With motherhood comes less freedom to just go out and do something either with your spouse or friends. It can take time and work to plan, set up babysitters, find the time, but it’s important to make it a priority.

Motherhood is many things but one thing it should not be is all you are. Find yourself with the additional title.


If you liked this post on finding yourself in motherhood, you may also enjoy: 5 Signs You Need A Mental Break

More About Guest Author

Sarah is a work from home mom of two beautiful kids, a girl, Gwenie, and boy, Jacob. She loves to write and research and to create businesses. Sarah’s Sage Advice is a lifestyle blog with topics about family, kids, parenting, marriage, and social issues. Sarah has an MBA in Entrepreneurship from Southern New Hampshire University and loves to read, write, and play with her kids in her spare time.

Check out more from Sarah: Her Blog, Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook


I'm Holly, the creator of Feisty Life Media.

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